Crackdown On Chinese Mistresses

It's so expensive to keep a mistress, yet so damn fun, that government officials in China have been known to sink to abysmal levels of corruption in order to keep up this habit.

So the communist party in China is cracking down, firming up a law that would make it even more difficult to keep one of these expensive sex servants.

Vibrating Condom a Great Idea, But...

In response to Indians' lack of condom usage because it ain't no fun, the Crezendo condom has marketed its product with a vibrating ring, but the government is fighting back.

"Too fun!" conservative Hindus are crying out. Jeez, just wait'll Japanese sex toys make it into India.

Attendees of the Indian Theatah' Get Free Condoms

Migrant workers in India who the government believes are spreading AIDS in XXX movie theaters will get free condoms now. Woo-hoo! See ya there!

Chinese Parents Freak Out About Not So Freaky Dance Education

Dude it’s not like they’re teaching Chinese kids poll dancing. Still, one would think so based on parents’ reactions to the Education Ministry’s integration of dance into the curriculum.

Hindu God Sweat Forebodes Major Calamity

A Hindu idol has begun sweating in Northern Nepal, attracting hundreds of pilgrims to witness and repent: this miracle has in the past foreshadowed natural disaster or political turmoil.

Reuters reports:

Sweating was seen on the idol in 2001, media reported, months before a palace massacre when King Birendra and eight other members of the royal family were shot dead in a drug-and-drink fuelled shooting spree by the then crown prince, who later turned the gun on himself.

In other words, we're in for some totally awesome action pretty soon. Even if the pilgrims are successful in repenting, we'll see a lot of dead goats and chickens slaughtered...