Those Crazy Asians

Chinese Breaks Record, Not Wine Bottles

Admin — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 19:20:00 +0000

By spending half a million dollars for 27 bottles of wine, a Chinese billionaire broke the record amount ever paid by a private consumer for wine, and he's not investing he just likes wine.

Japan Sex Film Fesitval "Extreme Love"

Admin — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 20:42:00 +0000

Breaking with cultural norms, pornography hits the big screen in Japan. After a landmark legal victory and many waves made, the "Extreme Love" film festival is free to proceed in Japan, showing the uncensored versions of French films such as "Fuck Me" and "A Very Young Girl", although the supreme court ruling and the timing of the Japanese film festival are apparently coincidental.

Festival promoter Takashi Asai gloated gloated:

"Before we couldn't even show pubic hair. Now that's tolerated."

Japanese Snow Machine Shits Bricks

Admin — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 17:15:00 +0000

Japanese borrow a lot of words from English, like "post, ball, bus, pool," and many more. Yet the English phrase "shitting bricks" - an expression used to express deep fright - never seemed to have caught on in Japan. If it had, the inventors of this new automated snow-shovel that eats snow and shits ice bricks might have thought twice about their design. They even made it look kinda like a cat. What are they going for? Fraidy Cat? I just don't get it.

New Neighbor Flies Into India Suburb

Admin — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 03:42:00 +0000

Watch this video showing how Indian kids pony up $4 to "let their dreams take flight":

Holy Leg!

Admin — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 04:47:00 +0000

An Indian man's ~~scam~~ divine endowment backfired on him when a "holy leg" of his that he'd been peddling around town got cut off: two thieves pumped him up with liquor, took a sickle to the knee and ran off with the prize.

We're not sure how the thieves planned to launder their booty (...or, leggy?), in fact one police officer hinted that they may have actually stolen the knee in order to bask in its fetid bliss for all Eternity, now that the holy leg is theirs - all theirs!

I mean, that's what I'd do.

Docile Cats for Creepy Japanese Blogger

Admin — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 04:35:00 +0000

At least three so-called Cat Cafes have sprung up on Tokyo, and whatever catnip they're giving is doing the trick. Says creepy regular:

"Stray cats run away when I try to stroke them. Here, it's great that I can do that,"

The article then goes on to explain how the weirdo takes 200 photos every time he visits.

From Penis Pills to the Polls

Admin — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 11:06:00 +0000

Waffling, undecided and otherwise just kinda limp voters might be pointed firmly in the direction of the Thai presidential candidate handing out viagra in exchange for votes.

If it's not cash is it considered bribery?

Malaysia Indians Sue England

Admin — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 15:01:00 +0000

How far back can reparations go? Malaysian community seeks to find out just that, by suing the British for historic colonization and suppression.

Good luck guys!

Japan: All Mayonnaise Restaurant

Admin — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 23:52:00 +0000

A restaurant in Japan proudly features an entire menu based on mayonnaise, even the alcoholic beverages come rim-lined with mayonnaise where more conventional establishments would place simple salt or sugar. Would you like a side dish with that mayonnaise?

Asian 9-Year-Old "Bored" In College

Admin — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 23:56:00 +0000

This kid is going to slide through his double Math major and graduate before age 15...as long as he doesn't get too bored!

Beijing, China Porn Police in Anime

Admin — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 20:05:00 +0000

Nice to see some transparency, a visceral reaffirmation that Chinese internet users really are being monitored.

Tickle Me Dead

Admin — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 15:42:00 +0000

Recalls and increased safety concerns for China's toys exports have caught one toy maker dead in his tracks.

Japanese Cars Test Drunk Drivers

Admin — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 03:42:00 +0000

Nissan rolled out a way for Japanese cars to subject their drivers, even if unwilling, to drunk driving test before the ignition can ignite.

Not Even 50 Bananas...

Admin — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 04:31:00 +0000

Cornered by police, an Indian thief thought it was a good idea to swallow the gold necklace (worth over $1,000), and deny that he had it. Too bad about the advanced medical technology that recently hit India - X-Ray machines. When the image showed up in the guy's belly, the doctor, naturally, recommended a modern prescription laxative:

50 bananas.

Yet despite being an oldie-but-goody, the gold necklace retrieval method didn't even work. That's when the police and doctors put Plan B into effect: more food. After stuffing him with rice his bowels finally gave up and squeezed out the goods.

Panda Poo, Anyone?

Admin — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 03:30:00 +0000

Okay, you don't have to eat it. In fact, you probably shouldn't. Pando poo is being sold as a souvenir by this Chinese zoo.

What'll they think of next?

Japan Sex Secrets Revealed

Admin — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 22:48:00 +0000

A virus that infected a Tokyo police officer's computer has given thousands of others a clue as to the origin of their...er...sexual viruses.

Nose Gear Stowaway From China Dies, Predictably

Admin — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 06:14:00 +0000

It've been kinda cool if he could have told his grandkids one day that he got to America by hiding in the nose gear of a plane doing the Shanghai - San Francisco route. Talk about "cheap tickets!" - hahaha. Well, the problem is that the air at that altitude is unbreathable and the temperature is below 40 degrees Fahrenheit, it's a 12-hour flight which nobody can survive.

Should have warned him, I guess.

Sorry.

Chinese Fly

Admin — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 18:52:00 +0000

Ever dreamed of becoming a state-level hygienic city?

Bureaucrats in the Xigong province of Luoyang have start paying for flies, dead.

Chelsea Clinton Weight Loss Patch

Admin — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 20:03:00 +0000

Yeah, so there was a weight loss scam in China, yeah, it involved a patch that was supposed to extract fat from the part of the body that you put it on, and yeah, that turned out to be fake, because the patch oozed out oil no matter where you put it, on a cup, a wall, etc.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But what I'm wondering is how on earth a beauty product could pull in 26 million bucks by invoking the name of Chelsea Clinton?

Chinese To Be "Very Happy" With Their New Toilets

Admin — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 18:24:00 +0000

The envelope is sealed, the letter sent, and Chinese officials are crossing their fingers. They're hoping that the Guinness book of world records will award them with the world's biggest bathroom facility, an impressive 4-story, 1,000 stall public restroom designed to promote "toilet culture" in Chongqing. According to one official:

"We are spreading toilet culture. People can listen to gentle music and watch TV," said Lu Xiaoqing, an official with the Yangrenjie, or "Foreigners Street," tourist area where the bathroom is located. "After they use the bathroom they will be very, very happy."

Woman Strips After Dowry Torture

Admin — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 16:11:00 +0000

An Indian woman who wouldn't pay up after marriage was tortured by her husband and inlaws. In response, she almost burnt herself alive but decided to strip in public, which proved MUCH more entertaining for the cabbies and bike messengers seen in the background here:

Gang-Green: Environmentally Friendly Street Gangs in Japan

Admin — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 03:07:00 +0000

Mother nature iced over the streets in Japan's northern island of Hokkaido, rendering motorbikes useless. But one semi-dangerous gang has taken up pedestrian roaming year round, because it's better for the environment.

Another benefit is improved youth recruitment rates, those who would otherwise be too young to bike. On foot, the gang can also more easily access a town festival and wreak havoc.

But still...really...the true reason they're on foot is for the environment.

World Bank Buckles To China

Admin — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 14:02:00 +0000

We've heard of Yahoo and possible Google being susceptible to political pressure from China, due to a corporate eagerness not to sour relations with a government controlling access to one of the world's biggest markets. But that China could effectively lean on the World Bank for absurd political censorship is a whole 'nother matter.

Job Opening For Ronald McCondom

Admin — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 23:08:00 +0000

Personal sexual pleasure is apparently off-limits for Indians, but they aren't above a national condom mascot touring up and down the country, Mr. Condom a sort of Ronald McCondom for safe sex...anyone interested?

Crackdown On Chinese Mistresses

Admin — Sun, 01 Jul 2007 23:00:00 +0000

It's so expensive to keep a mistress, yet so damn fun, that government officials in China have been known to sink to abysmal levels of corruption in order to keep up this habit.

So the communist party in China is cracking down, firming up a law that would make it even more difficult to keep one of these expensive sex servants.